Wearing hair, getting a hair replacement system, buying a hair piece or wig, whatever you call it - it’s something I desperately need to do, yet I’ve managed to think of about 1000 excuses to put it off during the last several months. For me, taking the steps to getting a hair piece is almost on par with going to the dentist to get my teeth drilled, even though the benefits will probably mean getting my life back. So what’s holding me back? In my defense, a few months ago I took the first steps and ordered a hair replacement kit from HairDirect.com – it’s the beginning of the process of getting a custom hair piece. A few horrible life events have happened in the meantime, but now that I’m ready to deal with ordering my hair piece, I still keep procrastinating. Here are some of my reasons:
1) It’s hard. I don’t know what I’m doing!
The learning curve of wearing hair is hard, and it’s a challenge I’m dreading. I never grew up wishing I could wear fake hair, and now that the unfortunate time is here, I still don’t have any interest in learning the ins and outs of the process. Susan from Crowned Beautiful has her whole training course about hair replacement, so there is help out there. Hair Direct also offers help in choosing the right hair piece for women (and men). It still doesn’t mean I’m excited. I am lazy and only like to do things I want to do, and this is at the bottom of my list. But it’s not like I wanted to spend half my life researching hair loss, but that’s where my life has ended up, so I know I should just embrace this next hair wearing chapter. I don’t enjoy doing my taxes, going grocery shopping, or cleaning my house, but they are necessary – and having decent hair is necessary for my well-being.
2) It’s expensive
This is when I wish more than anything that I was rich. I would hire someone to figure out who the celebrities use to create their undetectable hair pieces, and I would hire that celebrity hair specialist to come to my house and fix me. I wouldn’t care how much it cost, and I would have that person come every week and do my hair for me. Problem solved! Of course I have no money, and all of my hair replacement expenses will go straight on my credit card. I’m paralyzed by the idea of spending thousands of dollars on something, and what if it’s not even right?
I could go to a pricey hair replacement system clinic, I could pay for a training program, I could buy a cheapish wig from China or off eBay, but none of those are guarantees I will be happy, and then I’ll end up having to spend more money after that! For now I’m starting with the Hair Direct route since the price isn’t totally outrageous, and I know it will be cheaper than going to a clinic in person. Once I get the hang of things, the expense will become fixed – something I will just have to budget for. I have already spent tens of thousands of dollars going to numerous doctors (not covered by medical insurance), and on hair products, and medications, etc. At least hair replacement will be a real solution.
3) I’m low-maintenance
I’ve always prided myself on being able to roll out of bed and not being embarrassed if someone saw me that way. When I developed bad acne in my 20s, that was the first time I was afraid of someone seeing me first thing in the morning – makeup-less. Luckily I learned how to get rid of my acne, so until recently I was still able to be that girl that wasn’t ashamed of her au natural look. I could go swimming, camping (not that I’ve been camping in 20 years), and do any sports-type things without worrying I looked like hell. Now I worry if I get a hair piece or wig I won’t be able to roll out of bed without putting on my hair first, but I guess if you get bonded hair, that would solve that issue. I hate the idea of having to do stuff just to live normally – but I already have to wear glasses or contacts to see, use a retainer to keep my teeth straight, take medication to keep me healthy, and slather on wrinkle creams to keep the aging at bay - so what’s one more step? Hmmm, maybe I’m not low-maintenance after all. As my boyfriend likes to say, as you get older it takes twice as long to look half as good. I guess that’s life:(
4) What if the hair piece ruins my real hair?
I’m going to start out with a hair piece that clips onto my real hair, because I’m not ready to shave parts of my head yet to bond on a hair piece. I worry the clips will cause permanent bald spots. That’s a real possibility, but initially I don’t have to wear the hair piece every day. While I’m giving Propecia a shot (my last hope of getting my hair back), I don’t want to totally ruin my bio hair, since there’s a slim chance my hair will get better. So I can initially just wear the hair piece here and there, and I can also have lots of clips sewn into it, and rotate which clips I use. That way there’s less pressure on specific areas on my head.
However, I worry that once I start wearing a hair piece I won’t want to be seen without it. Once I have a thick head of hair, I know I will think my real hair looks thinner than ever, so it will be hard to emotionally be okay without the hair piece. And I’m not 100% ready to ruin my real hair by wearing hair clips that cause traction alopecia. This is partly why I thought wearing a wig was a good idea, but the wigs I’ve tried on felt so tight, and they felt like they pulled at my real hair, so it’s hard to believe they don’t damage your bio hair either. Well within a year I should know for sure if my real hair is worth saving, so none of these issues will matter then. In the meantime, I know I need to have a hair piece ready to go because my real hair gets thinner and thinner each month.
5) Having to deal with people
I want my new hair to look good, so I’m sure some people will notice I went from crappy hair to nice hair overnight. Half my friends already know about my hair issues, so the whole thing won’t be a surprise to them. It will just be nerve-wracking having to tell acquaintances I got fake hair. Or maybe I’ll say I was stressed from horrible life circumstances, which caused my hair to fall out, but now it’s grown back in. Or maybe I’ll just say I got hair extensions, or use the got a new: haircut/color/hairdresser lie. I wish I could go away somewhere exotic for six months, and then come back to my old life with my new hair. Then people will have forgotten what my old hair looked like, and they will think my exotic adventure helped me sprout a new, luxurious head of hair.
6) All of my hopes are pinned on this turning out right
Right now my life is in a holding pattern – I’m completely miserable, and feel the only way towards happiness is if I can be happy with my hair again. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that someday I won’t be miserable anymore. But what if I spend thousands of dollars on hair, and it doesn’t look good? As low maintenance as I am, I do want extremely realistic looking, beautiful hair. What if I don’t get that? Then I will really be miserable forever and ever. I will go into debt and will never recover. These are the thoughts (maybe irrational) that plague me. I know there are good solutions out there – I’ve seen lots of women with great looking hair pieces and wigs – but I still worry nothing will look right on me. I’ve tried on every wig in Las Vegas I could find, and they all looked terrible and fake on me – it’s no wonder I’m freaking out!
So those are some of my big reasons for putting off delving into the world of hair replacement systems. I know I’m not alone in this – there are so many women going through the same thing. I also know that putting off the next step towards wearing hair is my way of checking out of life, but I can’t do that forever. What’s holding you back? What’s your next step?